Quick Quips

funny

They say that snow is the peanut butter of Nature ~ it’s crunchy, kid’s love it and it clings to the roof of your house.

A nickel goes a long way today ~ you can carry it around in your pocket for weeks before you find something to buy with it.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, but always with the same person.

The quickest way to make a tossed salad is to try and feed various vegetables to a 16-month-old child.

A song that seldom gets an encore is the one performed when you sing your own praises.

Why doesn’t the Internal Revenue Service offer us our money back when we are not completely satisfied?

If your wife doesn’t treat you as you deserve, be thankful!

There is always some sunshine somewhere, and we can move ourselves into it if we try.

There is no fool like an old fool ~ you just can’t beat good solid experience.

Most people never forget a favor ~ especially if they did it.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes on a long trip through the shopping mall.

The best way to a man’s heart ~ is through his stomach

We long for the good old days when we were young and knew everything!

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder ~ so go away!

I exercise daily, but regularly ponder why I still don’t look remotely like Jane Fonda.



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Points To Ponder

Have you ever wondered ...
  • why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
  • why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
  • why toasters have a setting that could burn the toast?

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