Men Are Just Happier People

Happy Man

NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bubba, Fat Boy, Dudley and Doofus.

EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the change purses and pocket calculators.

MONEY
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs at that moment.
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but because it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
· A woman worries about her future until she find a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the same house.



Pin It
  
 

If You Enjoyed That - Please Share It!

chubby cheeks ladyDid you enjoy that?  Please take a moment to share with your friends to help expand our audience. Click one of the social media share buttons above, or invite your friends by email to come and visit our page. Thank You!

Points To Ponder

On Being British
A British daily newspaper ran a contest asking its readers "What does it mean to be British?" Here is the winning response:

"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all is being suspicious of anything foreign."

Join Our Mailing List

Join our mailing list and receive occasional emails from us with news and updates:
Advertisement

A Quick Random Funny

Icarriedyou.jpg

Purchase Our Popular ATP Books

ATP Books
A limited supply of our Cooking Up A Storm Cookbooks I and II editions, and our 10-Year Anniversary Celebration Book are still available

Advertisement

Shopping Cart