Ok Then...

huh

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you're naked in church.

Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French and
It's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is Where:
The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss and
It's all organized by the Italians.

Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandpa.
Not screaming in terror like people in this car.

In just two days from now,
tomorrow will be yesterday.

The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

I am a Nobody... Nobody is Perfect.
Therefor I am Perfect.

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln,
how was the play?

When you work here, you get to name your own salary...
I named mine, "Fred".

Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

I am having an out-of-money experience.

Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines!

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Points To Ponder

Give a man a fish...
As the old adage goes; Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. But teach a man to fish and he will... go out and buy expensive fishing equipment, stupid looking clothes, a sports utility vehicle, travel 1000 miles to the "hottest" fishing spot, and stand waist deep in cold water just so he can outsmart a fish. Average cost per fish: $395.68, but who’s counting?

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