Ok Then...

huh

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you're naked in church.

Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French and
It's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is Where:
The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss and
It's all organized by the Italians.

Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandpa.
Not screaming in terror like people in this car.

In just two days from now,
tomorrow will be yesterday.

The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

I am a Nobody... Nobody is Perfect.
Therefor I am Perfect.

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln,
how was the play?

When you work here, you get to name your own salary...
I named mine, "Fred".

Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

I am having an out-of-money experience.

Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines!

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Points To Ponder

On Being British
A British daily newspaper ran a contest asking its readers "What does it mean to be British?" Here is the winning response:

"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all is being suspicious of anything foreign."

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