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How many people does it take to change an energy efficient light bulb?
~ None; That's what research students are for.
~ Five; One to write the grant proposal, one to do the mathematical modeling, one to type the research paper, one to submit the paper for publishing, and one to hire a student to do the work.
~ What answer did you have in mind?
~ Twenty; one to 'phone for an Expert, one to propose a toast to the new bulb. And 18 to say what a lousy bulb the old one was.
~ Two. One to stand on a chair to change it, one to say "I wish I was up there!"
~ One. They don't like to share the spotlight
~ One, but 462 auditioned for the part.
~ Two; one to do it in perfect synchrony(!) while the other one calls "To the left, and to the left, and to the left, and to the left, and take it out, and put it down, and pick it up, and put it in, and to the right, and to the right, and to the right, and to the right..."
~ Three. One to stand on the ladder, and two to carry enough light bulbs until one is found that isn't defective.
~ Two, and you should've seen the light bulb! It must have been this big!
~ Three. One to change it while the other two argue about how old the old one is.
Art Gallery visitors
~ Two, one to do it and one to say "My four-year old could do better than that".
~ Three. One to hold the bulb and two to turn the universe.
~ None, astronomers prefer the dark.
~ None. Atheists never see the light.
~ One ... two ... three ... any advance on three?
~ Three; one to screw in all the bulbs he has until he finds one that fits, one to make sure you get to pay for them all and another to tell you he thinks he'll have to replace the whole socket.
~ Eleven; four to talk about how great it is that they've all come together to do this, one to screw it in, one to video it for next year's reunion, one to film it for the news, one to plan a marketing strategy based on it, one to reminisce about mass bulb screwings-in in the '60s, one to watch reruns of '50s TV shows, and one to play classic rock.
~ Eight. One person to get the scaffolding out, erect the scaffolding tower, isolate the power supply, take the blown lamp out, find a replacement, stick it in, reset the fuses, turn the power back on, climb up the tower, refocus the light, take the scaffolding tower down and put it away. The other seven sit in the control room, supervise, and broadcast helpful comments over the PA.
~ None, they like to keep employees in the dark.
~ About one third less than for a regular bulb.
~ 45. One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.
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